A change of fate
by Joshiro.ukitake
Summary: I could never forgive myself for letting go, but fate turns like a wheel, will I end up where I was again?
1. Chapter 1

Ok, I here's another story, I finished it a while back so I figured I should post it ^_^ it little sad.. Or a lot, I was crying while writing it.. Again... I always cry, I'm such a soppy person, but anyway, I hope you like it and its not too quick or anything

i do not own these characters, only the story :( kubo tite is the owner

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-A flashback-

'Don't let go... ' tears slid down the mans cheek, fear written across his face 'please... '

'I won't, just rest ok, I'll be waiting till you wake up again, I promise, rest juu' I was a step from crying, tears running down my own cheeks, watching my friends pain, I held his hand tight.

'It hurts.. Shun.. Don't let go.. ' the kids voice was fading, I could tell he was leaving this world.

'I swear on my life, I won't let go, I promise'

Half an hour later jushiro ukitake was declared gone and I was crying into his frozen chest, still holding his hand like I promised.

-back to reality-

I opened my eyes to a strange world, my hand clenched as if I was holding onto something, only there was nothing, I looked around me, I was in some slums, but not just any slums, traditional Japanese slums, slums that looked like they belonged a few hundreds years in the past.

-a flashback-

I smiled as I bled out, sitting beside my friends empty shell, holding his hand tight 'ill join you soon juu... don't worry... I won't let go... I won't let go..'

-back to reality-

I looked at my chest and felt it, I was bleeding.. I'd commuted suicide.. Why aren't I dead.. Then I looked and my hand, it was empty, I felt a hollow horror and fell to my knees where I stood, feeling the tears well up in my eyes, I couldn't help it.

I buried my face in the ground and screamed, I had failed 'I promised.. I promised'

-a flashback-

We were sitting in a park on the swings, I looked at my friend with a grin 'bet you I can swing higher then you'

My friend grinned back 'your on' it became a competition to swing the highest, the sun made my friend stand out, his short white hair collected up the sun and it positively glowed, his unusually pale appearance made him look like an angel when he smiled, his bright green eyes sparkled, just being next to him put a smile on my face.

-back to reality-

I don't know how long I cried into the ground, eventually someone picked me up and I found myself in their home, they had put a bowl of soup in front of me but I wouldn't eat, I couldn't, I deserved to die.

'Hey, kid... What's your name...' A boy about my age took my attention.

I looked at him dully 'why.. '

'Because.. I see you sit here everyday, you don't talk, you don't eat, I want to see you smile... ' the kid gave me a smile.

I couldn't return the gesture 'Shunsui.. Shunsui kyouraku.. '

'Shunsui.. Nice name, I'm Kai' he offered his hand to shake 'its nice to meet you'

I nodded and didn't meet his gesture. Kai held his hand out for about a minute before sighing and sitting beside me 'I want to be a soul reaper, do you?' He looked at me expectantly.

I'd been in this world for a month now, I'd found out that I was in soul society, the land of the dead, or heaven, the soul reapers ruled this world.

In a month, I had not found jushiro who had died just hours earlier then me, I had searched but I had no luck, now I would sit by a small stream everyday watching the endless time pass, nothing could make me smile let alone speak, I had gotten thin but I didn't eat either, they say if you are hungry, you have natural powers which meant I could become a soul reaper. I didn't do anything, I had lost all hope.

Kai frowned 'you know your hard to talk to.. You won't make friends like that you know' with that the stranger Kai got up and walked away having failed. When the day turned to dusk, I would return home to my parents, they weren't really my parents, it was rare for families to meet up again in the soul society, they were simply the two people who offered me a home.

'Shunsui... Why don't you become a soul reaper... Maybe you will find your friend there.. ' my mother looked at me with sad eyes.

I shook my head 'juu is sick.. He wouldn't'

-a flashback-

'Shun, I can't do it.. Not by myself, please come with me.. Mum says it would be fun.. ' my friend looked afraid.

'Come on then juu, I'll go with you, it will be fine' I gave my dopey smile, my wavy brown hair to my shoulders, my slate grey eyes bright, I was determined to keep that smile on my friends face.

'Thank you shun' he smiled and together we climbed up the tree to where the flying fox was set up in the tree, at the edge of the play form he looked afraid, he was scared of heights and was starting shake.

I was scared too but I wouldn't show it so juu would be ok, when we hopped on the Firefox, and ride it through the sky, juus smile was bright and he declared it had been the best thing ever.

-back to reality-

'How do you know.. You could try.. ' mum gave me a supportive smile. I just shook my head and went to my usual place, the roof, I'd sit on the roof and stare at the starry sky. I would never forgive myself for letting go.


	2. Chapter 2

yay, chapter two was ready to go so here it is, artigatto for reading so far if you have, I hope this chapter leaves a better taste in your mouth, again, arrigatto!

Kubo tite is still the owner of bleach :|

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It's been a year since I had died and come to soul society, a year of deep depression, everyone avoided me now, they called me the lonely one, I would speak to no one.

'Shunsui.. I think you should read this.. ' my mum gave me a peice of paper. The paper was an application for the shino academy 'please shunsui.., I'm begging you.. Do something with this life' my mum was begging me, her eyes pleading that I should go through with it.

I nodded 'ok' I didn't feel like doing anything, but I hated seeing my mum like this, so I filled in the application. It had turned out that I made it into the academy, as most other students would celebrate, I didn't have the heart, I had felt hollow since the day I had come here, nothing made me happy.

In the following days and weeks, the classes were organised and I begun my training, I would train with all the effort I could muster and learn what I needed to learn but I friended nobody. The same as I had done at home in rukongai. I had no life.. Until I heard that heavy cough down the hall way.

-a flashback-

We were playing in the park again, it was out favourite place to be, as thirteen year olds we were just starting to grow up, though jushiro had grown up long before me, he has tuberlucious, one day it would probably kill him but I didn't care.

Jushiro fell to his hands and knees as he started coughing heavily, blood would start making it way from his mouth in his coughing fit, I would run over worried and sit beside him and rub his back, he liked that 'Are you ok juu?'

After he finished coughing, he would pull out some tissues and wipe the blood away, with a smile he would always say 'I'm fine, don't worry shun' it comforted me even though sometimes he lied and he wasn't alright.

-back to reality-

Walking back to my dorm, I was passing the boys bathroom, I never walked fast, always slow, there was no rush, when the deep familiar coughs started, it was from the boys bathroom, it was a distant sound, like echoes, so I thought it was a memory. On this particular day it was cloudy, rain threatened to pour down, when the coughs continued, it truly sounded like someone was in pain, so I decided to follow the sound, I quickened my step and upon entering the bathroom I froze.

There sitting on the floor was jushiro in a heavy coughing fit, blood on his hands where he was covering his mouth, I didn't feel my books drop, I didn't feel myself tear up, only the tears trickle down my cheeks, the boy looked at me with an ashamed look and then shock.

'J-juu... I-is... ' I couldn't speak.

The boy teared up 'shun.. '

I was afraid he was going to disappear, this was just my head screwing with me, when I took a cautious step forward and he remained there, I stepped again, I fell to my knees beside him, still not believing it 'a-are you.. Ok'

He nodded, staring at me, years running down his face 'I'm ok.. Don't worry about it' he gave a shaky smile.

It was then I started breaking down 'I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.. '

Juu just gave me a hug, shushing me 'its ok.. Don't worry.. ' I just replied by crying into his shoulder, a years worth of pain coming undone.

'Thank you.. Shun.. ' jushiro was keeping strong, tears flowing 'for staying with me.. And not letting go...'

After a while, both of us were completely drained of emotion, content to just sit, both of us almost not believing our eyes.

'Jushiro.. I.. I'm sorry.. I failed you... '

'What are you talking about... ' jushiro looked at me, those bight green eyes, those pale features and pure white hair.. That familiarity that I'd been searching for, my other half, my brother.

'I promised I would be there.. When you woke up.. I wasn't.. ' I looked at him guiltly.

'I never held it against you.. Your promise brought me safely here, I could rest in peace.. You shouldn't have followed me.. ' jushiro looked at me.

'Your my brother.. I failed to look after you... It's a fitting punishment.. '

'Well lets put the past aside.. Brothers?' He held out his hand with a bright smile 'like we used to be, I've got your back, you've got mine'

I looked at him and took his hand, returning his smile 'hai, like old times' it felt weird to smile since I hadn't in so long.

Jushiro looked at his uniform and frowned 'hey shun, can you help me wash my uniform.. ' he was playing with a few stray spots of blood on his uniform.

I smiled, falling myself fall into the playful self I was before juu died 'still as grotty as ever'

'Its not my fault' he gave me a stubborn look 'will you help me or not, I hate doing the washing alone, it's creepy'

I chuckled 'sure, ill help you, I'll keep the real people away'

'By the way, your books and stuff are still on the bathroom floor' he gave me a cheeky smile.

'Crap!' I didn't remember when I dropped them but I did, I found my self running back to pick them up 'damn'

Jushiro laughed 'as dopey as ever shun'

It was back to normal, just in a different world, finally.

It had turned out that all along I had been sharing my classes with juu, I just wasn't paying enough attention so I guess the fault was mine, but it didn't matter now.


End file.
